Starting Again....

...I'm not sure how to start again, because the pain is still so fresh, but I think I must.  I must start again because I must regain my confidence in my God and my Father.  I must because He is my only refuge...He is my only source of strength.  I admit that these past two weeks have been very difficult for me.  There have been times, even now, when I am shaken, when life seems very uncertain.  I am struggling ---torn between knowing that God is good, that He is sovereign, and that He absolutely loves us and feeling abandoned and hurt.  I know that I am vulnerable to the enemy's attacks and I ask for God's fierce protection over me to reject the lies that can come into my mind.  I pray that I do not disillusion anyone by my admissions of this struggle.  I have no doubt that God will bring me through, and that I will grow and learn from it, but right now it's spiritually painful.

Three verses that I am focusing on tonight:

John 14:27 - "Peace I leave with you.  My peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Your heart must not be troubled or fearful."
 
Please, Lord, relieve my fears.  Grant me Your peace that surpasses anything that this world can give.  Even through times when I do not understand what is going on within me, remind me that You are my Savior, that You are my salvation.  That nothing on earth is greater than You or Your plans.

Isaiah 26:3 - "You will keep in perfect peace the mind that is dependent on You, for it is trusting in You."

Please, Lord, keep my mind dependent on You, based on complete trust in You.  You are trustworthy, You are truth.  Let my mind reject all deception and lies.  Take away my anxiety and restore to me Your perfect peace.

John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life."

Remind me of Your complete and all encompassing love.  My belief is intact---You are my God, and Jesus is my Savior.  Assure me of my life with You, now and forever.

Thank you, dear Christian friends, for allowing me to be honest.  To share my grief and my struggle...and my faith that God is stronger than all and that He is the One that restores us.  Pray with me, pray for me, and pray for all our family.  Pray that God will draw each one of us closer to Him as we sort through our individual paths of pain.

One more verse tonight...it is our new verse.  Yes, starting again. 

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is God's power for salvation to everyone who believes, first to the Jew, and also to the Greek. - Romans 1:16

The Gospel -- God's power for salvation -- thank You Lord for Your plan, Your way, Your truth.  Let me be secure in that.  There is nothing more.

Prayers - Prayers - and more Prayers....Please!

On Sunday, September 16, our lives were changed in the blink of an eye.  Robert and I were traveling home after spending a wonderful weekend with our daughter, Meredith, and her husband, Parrish, in Tulsa.  We were about 50 miles outside of Amarillo when we got "the phone call."  The call that is every parent's worst nightmare, the call that makes your stomach sink into your spine, the call that makes everything else in your world stand still.

Our call came from our daughter-in-law, Dana, who let us know that our son, Michael, had been in a terrible motorcycle accident.  He was in the ambulance as she spoke, and she did not know his status.  The next 40 miles we prayed for God's protection and sped into town, praying for Michael and asking for God to bring him through.  But about the time we approached Amarillo, our other son, Dane, called to say that Michael had not survived...that he was gone.

From that moment to now, we have simply breathed.  We have asked for God's strength to just keep us breathing.  Nothing more, because that's all we can do.  He has granted us breath.  We are still numb...we still don't do much more than breathe, but we do continue to breathe.

For now, I just ask for each continued breath and for His understanding that I don't have many words to say.  I trust Him.  I do.  I love Him.  I do.  But I don't know what to say. 

I ask Him to bring His words to me.  To let me see His grace and His mercy and to feel His peace.  I am beginning to...but I have to be honest, when something this unexpected and this tragic happens, and death invades your previously protected family, you feel completely vulnerable.   There is a sense of fear and dread that the enemy brings to you that God has to replace with the knowledge that HE is on your side.  You have to force yourself to remember that God loves you, that He sees and hears you, and that He cares for you. I know He does. 

Several years ago, my dear friend, Dallas, lost her 16 year-old son, Tyler, in an automobile accident.  At his funeral, she had this song sung and I've never forgotten it...

Sometimes my little heart can't understand
What's in Your will, what's in Your plan.
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why,
But I can never forget it for long.
Lord, what You do could not be wrong.
So I believe You, even when I must cry.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?
I know the answers, I've given them all.
But suddenly now, I feel so small.
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul.
I know the doctrine and theology,
But right now they don't mean much to me.
This time there's only one thing I've got to know.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the robin sing?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does it rain in spring?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?
I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why.
I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die.
I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain!
You were God before, and You'll never change.
I will trust You.
I will trust You.
I will trust You, Lord.
I will trust You.
 ~ Twila Paris

Pray for us - pray for Dana, Michael's wife, and his children, Kolbi, Cade and Jocelyn.  Pray that all will draw close to God, and that we will all feel His presence around us.

I love You Lord - take away my fear - bring Your complete and unexplainable peace.  I will trust You.
 

Day 2 - Week 76 - Colossians 3:17 "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

When we do something "in the name of the Lord Jesus", how are we to do it?  How does that directive differentiate our actions?

As Christians, we wear Christ's name.  And we should bring honor to it.  The closest analogy that I can make is that when I took my husband's family name (25 years ago this past Tuesday!), I also took the responsibility of bringing honor to that name.  Now, whatever I do is linked to the Hodges' family.  And it is a family that deserves honoring!  They have a great heritage and I am so blessed to be able to be a part of this wonderful family.

In the same way, I have taken Christ's name when I label myself as a Christian.  Whatever I do, should be done in the same way Jesus would do it; whatever I say, should carry the same message as Jesus proclaimed.  As Robert J. Morgan puts it, "That means we should do everything as though Jesus Himself were doing it.  Our every word should be as though Jesus were speaking it."

That's a lofty goal, and one which we will probably never be 100% successful---but that is our goal, that is our aim, and that is what should be in our minds all the time.  It really does come down to WWJD..."What would Jesus do?"  We don't have to wear a bracelet to remind us (although that's not a bad idea!).  When we have Colossians 3:17 embedded in our heart, subconsciously we will be reminded of our responsibility to be an accurate representation of Christ on earth.

I constantly fall short of representing Christ as well as I would like to.  My words can be sharp or sarcastic; my actions can display selfishness rather than the love that I desire to show.  But each morning brings with it another chance to be the person that Christ desires me to be today---to speak as He would, to love as He would. 

To do it all in His name...the name of Jesus...the name above all names!

 

Day 1 - Week 76 - Moving into the last quarter of our trip!

We have accomplished 3/4 of our journey of 100 Bible verses...can you believe it?  Last week I was privileged to get to hear Pam Tebow, mother of football star Tim Tebow, speak at a fundraising event here in Amarillo.  She spoke of the importance she had placed on teaching her children Scripture and that to help them remember the words, she would sing the verses to them.

This morning, I tried her method. It seemed especially appropriate for this past week's verse.

I sang...

Colossians 3:16 - Colossians 3:16 -
Let the word of Christ dwell richly in you
Teaching and admonishing
In all wisdom
Singing psalms
Hymns and spiritual songs
With gratitude in your hearts to God.

Throughout the day I found myself singing my self-composed tune to these wonderful words.  I found myself smiling as I finished, and thinking, "what gratitude is in my heart today!"  God's word is dwelling richly in me because of the past 75 weeks.  And now it's time to move forward and complete these next 25 weeks, so that we will complete our journey.

Let's look back at the most recent 24 weeks and then we'll add another verse to our "Faith" section:

The Holy Spirit's Role in our Lives (6)
Ephesians 5:18 "And don't get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless actions, but be filled with the Spirit."
Ephesians 5:19 "Speaking to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making music in to the Lord in your hearts."
Ephesians 5:20 "Giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Ephesians 5:21 "Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ."
Galatians 5:22 "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control."
2 Timothy 1:14 "Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you...guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit living in us."

Joy: God's Kind of Happiness (12)
Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
Philippians 4:5 "Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near."
Philippians 4:6 "Do not worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."
Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."
James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds."
James 1:3-4 "Knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you will be mature and complete, lacking nothing."
1 Thessalonians 5:16 "Rejoice always."
1 Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray constantly."
1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."


Faith: Trusting God and Resting in His Word (12)
Ephesians 2:8 "For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift."
Ephesians 2:9 "Not by works, so that no one can boast."
Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ; and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."
Colossians 3:15 "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."
Colossians 3:16 "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God."

Our sixth verse of faith, and the third in our triplet of Colossians 3:15-17, is:

Colossians 3:17 "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

You know what word really stands out for me in this verse?  "Whatever!"    Whatever we do, we are to do it in the name of Jesus, in an attitude of thanksgiving because of Jesus.  Wow - that has to indirectly place some restrictions on what we do, doesn't it?  How can we do things that are not glorifying to God in the name of Jesus?  We can't - it can't happen.  As Christians, we are to limit our words and our deeds to those things that honor our Father.  That really makes you stop and think about just what it is that you're doing, doesn't it?  All the time.  Every word, every deed, should be filtered through the consideration of how God views it.  The only way this can happen is by asking for the Holy Spirit to rule in our lives, otherwise we will never "take every thought captive." 

Our faith drives us to seek to please our Father, we seek to please Him because we are so grateful and thankful for what Jesus has done for us, that He has brought us back into our Father's household and family.  Faith says, "Pay attention to what you're doing.  God gave His best for you, now return to Him your best - in word, in deed."

Indeed!

Day 3 - Week 75 - Colossians 3:16 "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God."

I like the way Robert J. Morgan explains the differences between the types of singing that Paul lists:

"We're to sing out God's Word in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.  Psalms are Bible-based praises that are solid, deep, echoing the words of Scripture (especially the book of Psalms).  Hymns are rich and sturdy songs that stand the test of time.  Spiritual songs are lighter, livelier expressions of our faith and worship."

I'm not sure why churches seem to select one of the three forms and not be able to incorporate all into worship.  I love the hymns of old and I love much of the contemporary praise music.  There is merit to both and I think God loves hearing all styles of praise reaching His ears.  One style does not have to preclude the use of another.  But it seems that we have divided our worship into either solidly traditional or completely contemporary.  The church I attend has one "blended" service, which I think does a very good job of pulling old and new together; the other three services are contemporary.  But whichever style you prefer, Paul does tell us that worship includes singing...so sing!

Our worship should also include thanksgiving...expressing our gratitude to our God for all He has done for us as His children.  I don't think you can be truly worshipping God without feeling this deep sense of thankfulness for who He is, for what He has done, and for His promises yet to be fulfilled.  He is worthy of all of our gratitude...expression of that recognition has to be an integral part of true worship.

I also really appreciate the way Morgan closes out his thoughts on this verse:

"Worship should engage both mind and emotions.  Colossians 3:16 tells us to admonish with all wisdom (our minds) and to sing with our hearts (our emotions).  This recalls our Lord's words in John 4, that God desires us to worship Him in spirit and in truth."

Just as it seems that some churches seem to narrow their worship to one style, it also seems that churches often focus on one of the above elements over the other.  There are some churches that are highly intellectual but lack any emotion, while others are highly emotional without a good base of Biblical teaching and wisdom.  Seems to me that God is always trying to get us to see that balance is good for us in almost every area of our lives - and our worship of Him is to be balanced as well.  We need to feel His Spirit alive and active in our worship services and we should be moved, but our emotions can't be the only thing at work while we worship --- our brains and minds have to be focused on God, and we have to be seeking His truth, not just want makes us feel good.  In fact, worship, at times, should be painfully convicting. 

Sing - any way that glorifies God!
Thank - our Lord for all He is!
Think - about Him, about His Word, and apply it to your life!
Feel - His Spirit within you, prompting you to change, or to action!

Worship God!  He is worthy!


 

Day 2 - Week 75 - Colossians 3:16 "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God."

So what is your idea of worship?

Reading from Baker's Evangelical Dictionary, "If Christianity is the transformation of rebels into worshipers of God, then it is imperative for the Christian to know and understand what constitutes biblical worship. One may always consult Webster's Dictionary for the precise meaning of worship (adore, idolize, esteem worthy, reverence, homage, etc.). Yet truly defining worship proves more difficult because it is both an attitude and an act."

and,

"The true worship of God is essentially internal, a matter of the heart and spirit rooted in the knowledge of and obedience to the revealed Word of God."

Yes, true worship takes place in the heart of the believer...I think that's what Paul is saying when He says that Christ's message should "dwell" richly among us.  That is the essential first ingredient to true worship.  If we do not accept and allow the good news of Christ's life, death and resurrection to abide within us, then how can we move to any higher step of worship of our Father?  The word "richly" as used here means "abundantly, in great measure, in large amounts." When that message has come into our hearts and taken residence within our lives to that degree, then what happens?

We cannot contain it!  We move to the next steps of Paul's instruction: teaching and admonishing. 

Both of these actions can be absolutely intimidating and daunting to may Christians.  Teaching carries with it great responsibility, as stated in James 1;3, "Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly."  Does Paul want everyone teaching?  When I read it weighed against James words, I think Paul may be saying that the we must make sure that the message of Christ is always taught "in all wisdom."  We need to make sure that Christian teaching is being proclaimed within our churches, and not according to man's wisdom, but according to the wisdom as contained in Scripture.   Everyone is not called to teach, but we are all called to make sure we're listening to teachers whose words align with the Word of God.  We all have a responsibility not to listen blindly (isn't that a nice combination of words!), but instead to listen, with our eyes focused on the Bible's words, making sure that what we're hearing is what we're reading, and when that happens, thank God for good Christian teachers who keep His Word proclaimed and alive.

If you are called to teach, teach.  And do so with the wisdom of God as contained within His Word.  And if you are called to hold a teacher accountable to God's Word, do that.  If they are truly a humble servant of God, they will accept such admonition with grace and thankfulness. 
 

Day 1 - Week 75 - Summer's Over!

Isn't it funny how the seasons merge and one is over and the other upon us without absolute clarity?  Fall becomes winter obscurely until one morning we see snowflakes and are surprised; the winter chill becomes a little less intense and one morning we see tulip blades beginning to poke out of the ground and know Easter can't be far behind; here in the Texas panhandle, the spring winds blow hard until one day we seem to notice they have lightened up, and the sun is shining down on us a little harder, and summer is here.  All of the seasons seem to catch me a little by surprise...except for fall!

When summer is over, you know it.  Kids go back to school, we have the Labor Day holiday weekend, and college football is resonating through the house.  I love fall!  The air becomes crisper, sunlight falls a little differently, and to me, there is always a sense of a return to schedules, I guess our school years bring that feeling back to us.  Well, I'm getting "back to schedule." Our women's Bible study group reconvenes next Tuesday night (can't wait for that!) and there will be a new verse every Monday!  Every week, you can count on it! 

This week, we move to our second of three verses contained in the third chapter of Colossians...remember last week's verse?  Colossians 3:15?  "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful."  Now Paul moves from reminding us of the unity that we should have within the Christian body, to how this unity shows itself in our time of worship.

If you'll remember this comment by Robert J. Morgan, you'll not forgot the source text for this week's verse:  "Just as John 3:16 provides the core of the gospel, Colossians 3:16 provides the core of worship."  Things like his statement really stick in my head and sure help me make a connection to the verse so that I remember where it can be found.

    Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

Here is our call to worship and an explanation of what worship should look like---teaching, singing, thanksgiving, prayer---and pulling our previous verse back to mind, all should be done in the unity of the Christian body in a spirit of peace.  If you have not found a church body to worship with, I would encourage you to do so.  It is what God directs us to do and it is what we need as part of His body.

Now let's review our most recent verses!

The Holy Spirit's Role in our Lives (6)
Ephesians 5:18 "And don't get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless actions, but be filled with the Spirit."
Ephesians 5:19 "Speaking to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making music in to the Lord in your hearts."
Ephesians 5:20 "Giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Ephesians 5:21 "Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ."
Galatians 5:22 "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control."
2 Timothy 1:14 "Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you...guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit living in us."

Joy: God's Kind of Happiness (12)
Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
Philippians 4:5 "Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near."
Philippians 4:6 "Do not worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."
Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."
James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds."
James 1:3-4 "Knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you will be mature and complete, lacking nothing."
1 Thessalonians 5:16 "Rejoice always."
1 Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray constantly."
1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."


Faith: Trusting God and Resting in His Word (12)
Ephesians 2:8 "For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift."
Ephesians 2:9 "Not by works, so that no one can boast."
Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ; and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."
Colossians 3:15 "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful."
Colossians 3:16 "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God."

This Labor Day 2012, I am singing a spiritual song of gratitude in my heart...so thankful for what God has given me here on earth and even more thankful for what I know is waiting for me in heaven.  I'm also signing a song of gratitude for getting to spend two days caring for our 5 and 3 year old granddaughters as their parents traveled to a wedding of a lifelong friend.  What a joy it is to get to spend time with these children and to hear their commentaries on life!  What a joy it is to see them grow and change, and to see their parents raise them in a home that fosters faith in God and in His Son.  I have a heart full of gratitude today...can you hear me singing?