Do you ever have one of those days that you just feel sorry for yourself? For whatever reason? Sometimes it's justified, isn't it? Tonight, I'm feeling a little less than wonderful...upset stomach, chills, tired, just that vague "yukky" feeling you sometimes get. And I'm feeling a little sorry for myself.
But then I read this verse and I'm reminded...nothing is really about me anyway. If I don't feel good for an evening, so be it. One little night in my little earth story is pretty inconsequential, for I have already "been crucified." My life is invisible...or it should be. My life has been replaced with that of Jesus living within me, and if I'm not allowing Him to do so by pridefully overriding His presence by demanding my own, then I have not yet been completely crucified, and I have some additional dying to do.
Wow - I just wrote that and I am fully convicted that it's true about me...I often do not allow Christ to fully live within me and I know that there is still much of me to be crucified. I cannot make this statement as convincingly as Paul did for I often demand my presence, my way, my truth, stifling His presence, His way, His absolute truth. But I pray that I am in the process of being crucified, that I am in the process of allowing my selfish desires to be replaced with the desires of the Spirit of Christ dwelling within me.
And I am reminded (as my momentary "not feeling so well" pity party wanes) that crucifixion is painful...that letting go of self is not necessarily enjoyable or pleasant, especially when I am focusing on self. But just as Jesus endured the pain of the cross, which pain I cannot even begin to comprehend, by focusing on His mission of obedience to His Father, when I focus on what God desires for me and from me, I am given the ability to endure my crucifixion...a crucifixion of much less magnitude, but nonetheless, the crucifixion that I am called to.
But then I read this verse and I'm reminded...nothing is really about me anyway. If I don't feel good for an evening, so be it. One little night in my little earth story is pretty inconsequential, for I have already "been crucified." My life is invisible...or it should be. My life has been replaced with that of Jesus living within me, and if I'm not allowing Him to do so by pridefully overriding His presence by demanding my own, then I have not yet been completely crucified, and I have some additional dying to do.
Wow - I just wrote that and I am fully convicted that it's true about me...I often do not allow Christ to fully live within me and I know that there is still much of me to be crucified. I cannot make this statement as convincingly as Paul did for I often demand my presence, my way, my truth, stifling His presence, His way, His absolute truth. But I pray that I am in the process of being crucified, that I am in the process of allowing my selfish desires to be replaced with the desires of the Spirit of Christ dwelling within me.
And I am reminded (as my momentary "not feeling so well" pity party wanes) that crucifixion is painful...that letting go of self is not necessarily enjoyable or pleasant, especially when I am focusing on self. But just as Jesus endured the pain of the cross, which pain I cannot even begin to comprehend, by focusing on His mission of obedience to His Father, when I focus on what God desires for me and from me, I am given the ability to endure my crucifixion...a crucifixion of much less magnitude, but nonetheless, the crucifixion that I am called to.
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